The initial score given for my essay was a 3. Scored by Kayla Burns, I believe she was actually too generous with her rating. It is clear that I was completely unfocused when I attempted this essay and the essay did indeed contain, "an unfocused . . . presentation of ideas." It lacked both thought and effort on my part and for that I am truly sorry. Besides being so rough in composition, the essay falls more so under a two essay as it is, "unacceptably brief." While the writing is substandard and crudely put together, I can't say that this essay is a correct assessment of my skills. Looking back at my notes on the passage, however, I do believe I missed several themes that are of import to D. H. Lawrence's style and recurring subject matter.
If I were given a second chance at this essay, there are several themes of Lawrence's that I would like to touch on and give a fuller analysis. The first would be to more deeply analyze the contrast that the woman sees between her men and the vicar. It should be said why she is comparing them, that it is her own desire for knowledge, for something more that pulls her away from the blood and the land that she has been taken into. I feel it is also important to articulate what that connection means: that she, a woman, is bound to her husband, by both law and expectations of society, yet strives to leave, to get away from him and what he stands for. Lastly, one needs to consider the irony in which the men who work the land and live and breath in the sun, the source of life for all, seem dull, dead almost, in comparison to the more intellectually advanced vicar. His intelligence gives him more "life" in the eyes of the woman than the Brangwens who share this "blood intimacy" with life. These important insights into the mind of Lawrence most definitely need to be included in an apt analysis of this piece.
How that analysis is put together, however, is also of great importance. My first attempt at this essay was unstructured in that I did not pace myself correctly, ran out of time, and found myself rushing to simply get some basic ideas down on the page. A better essay would begin, as the Five Steps to a Five workbook suggests, with a strong opening paragraph, complete with a more direct and in depth thesis and a more creative opening line. The ideas that I got down on paper themselves needed to be more spaced out with more textual evidence in between. There was not time for a deep enough analysis into the passage for the essay to be successful or for it to flow well. With more careful planning, both these kinks can be smoothed out.
Overall, the essay that I wrote for D. H. Lawrence's "The Rainbow" was incomplete and raw. There were a few good, basic ideas written down but they needed to be more fully developed. With the knowledge I have gained about Lawrence's writing, it is clear that I missed some very major concepts within the work. The essay could also use a lot of organizing, especially when it comes to the flow of ideas. By reflecting on this, I have gained a better sense of what needs to be fixed with my skills in organization, analysis, and most importantly, time management.
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